What broke my day: Wet pantaloons. I say pantaloons because it's international talk-like a pirate day, yer matey. And Me being a bloke who won't actually speak in pirate, I may as well write in pirate. Anyways the weather be less than attractive today, and me being a poor college student, doesn't have the doubloons to purchase rain boots. This means that by walking to class I somehow get from dry pantaloons to horribly drenched pantaloons by the time I get to class. Then, I have to sit in them, feeling the cold, damp disgusting-ness for an hour. What sucks even more is that my shoes and socks get wet, and then by the end of my 3-hour class, I have trench foot. I really want a pair of rain boots, and am accepting donations for the purchase of new ones. Or you could just get me a really cute pair, (thought I'm not sure I trust ye scallywags judgement) and then I would get rain boots AND mail. Double awesome. But no, I am stuck changing my outfit like 15 times, and now I have to do laundry...ugh. Not cool.
What made my day: A brilliant new plan. Okay, maybe this should go under what broke my day, because It saddens me that I won't actually be able to put this plan into action, but hypothetically it's brilliant. I want to become and exotic dancer. Before you freak out, put aside for the moment, all religious and moral aspects. It's really a good option. I don't want to be a stripper....because my boobs are like gold, and I want to choose who gets to see them. But I want to be an exotic dancer. I wouldn't be naked, just scantily clad in almost nothing. There are many positive aspects to this plan. The first perk would be that it would force me to get in shape, and it would keep me in tip-top hotness. Dancing on a pole is hard work, and they even sell it as a workout now, so that's how I plan to learn. So basically, I'll get really hot,....and then I can find a boy. Second reason: MONEY. I work essentially 11 hours a week (now) and get 77$ a week, for my 11 hours. This leaves me crazy busy with school work. Dancing in an exotic manner you can make approximately 200$ in 4 hours...on a BAD night. (I looked it up.) Hold the phone. I can get more bang for my buck by becoming a dancer, and even if I have a bad night, I'll still be earning more than I would working at my current job. It takes me 29 hours, or 2.5 weeks to get that much. That seems like a way better deal, plus I would save approximately 10 hours per week if I wanted to maintain my current salary. This is time I could better use to study and get into med school. And it I danced more, like 4 hours a week, then I could be loaded, almost paying for college. The only thing that is stopping me from this is that I can't put it on a resume, and I don't think that I could go to church on Sunday without feeling dirty. But, if it weren't for the fact that it's scum work, and morally unacceptable. I would totally become an exotic dancer.
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