Arg...I'm becoming a Dirty Pirate Hooker.

What broke my day: Wet pantaloons. I say pantaloons because it's international talk-like a pirate day, yer matey. And Me being a bloke who won't actually speak in pirate, I may as well write in pirate. Anyways the weather be less than attractive today, and me being a poor college student, doesn't have the doubloons to purchase rain boots. This means that by walking to class I somehow get from dry pantaloons to horribly drenched pantaloons by the time I get to class. Then, I have to sit in them, feeling the cold, damp disgusting-ness for an hour. What sucks even more is that my shoes and socks get wet, and then by the end of my 3-hour class, I have trench foot. I really want a pair of rain boots, and am accepting donations for the purchase of new ones. Or you could just get me a really cute pair, (thought I'm not sure I trust ye scallywags judgement) and then I would get rain boots AND mail. Double awesome. But no, I am stuck changing my outfit like 15 times, and now I have to do laundry...ugh. Not cool.

Being a Sick Hero

What broke my day: Being sick. Last night I started to feel a sore throat coming on...uh-oh. This morning I woke up to my throat throbbing, body slick with sweat and full of goosebumps from being chilled. I sense it's strep throat. No, I haven't gotten tested...yet, but I get strep so much that I can tell whether or not it is just a sore throat, or something worse. I hate that I am so tired that I feel like I can't do anything. I hate that this makes me lack in motivation so that I don't wear makeup, want to shower, or do any homework. Unfortunately, living the crazy life of a college student (which I'm thinking about making an entire post about my crazy busy life) I don't get to stay curled up in bed. I have deadlines to make, work to do, classes that I can't miss because the only excused absences involves death, and a blog to write. This does not help my getting better. I take a vitamin every day (so what if they are super her0 gummy vitamins?), and I don't go kissing rando's, so getting sick has been a rarity the past couple of years. But now, between the crazy sleep schedule, and not having time to even rest, my body has revolted and now I am stuck trying to maintain the schedule, while wanting to just take a nap. Being sick sucks, being a sick college student...sucks even more.

Death and its Cure

What broke my day: You know that saying, if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say it at all. That's how I've been feeling the past couple of days. I'm not saying that I've had a terrible weekend, but certain things have been consuming me and I barely thought about other things. but that's not what broke my day. What broke my day was death. Yesterday, my fb wife, Sarah, had to put her 12 year old dog down. Buster was as good as my dog, and what hurt more than the fact that I will never hear his feet trot across the floor at the sound of the word 'walk', is that I couldn't be there to support my best friend. Being 150 miles away from her, when all I wanted to do was give her a giant hug that would nearly crush her ribs. When I found out that he was going to be euthanized I cried. I cried because I couldn't be there for her, and I could see that she was really struggling, I cried because I couldn't give Buster one last hug, I cried because never again, when I pulled away from that hug, would I have his tree bark-brown hair completely covering my body, I cried because there would never ever be any way to replace him. All I could do was tell Sarah how much I loved her, and tell her that I would buy her a puppy named pa hoe' hoe'. I mean, animals in pain and death sadden me to know end. This is the girl who didn't finish the book Marley and Me, because that way Marley lives forever. This is dedicated to Buster, who I'm going to believe is in heaven, running around on an endless walk, and meals of cheese and peanut butter forever.

I only needed to make someone eat.

 NOTE: the spell check wasn't working, and I'm to lazy to proofread, so you are going to have to ignore the horrible spelling.
What broke my day: Missing the one thing you have been looking forward to all week. My favorite class , English (even though the reading is ridiculously hard), my only break during the week from hard-core science, was discussing my absolute favorite peice of literature. Not my favorite book, because that is different. We are reading Faust, and I absolutely love this peice of work. In fact it's the only reason I didn't drop the class after seeing the book list. Today we were supposed to discuss it in class, and I was embarassingly excited....except I didn't attend class, and we even had a quiz. fml. The class starts at 9, and I woke up promptly at 9:08 and my heart crashed into my stomach with the force of a 2000 ton elephant being dropped from 100 stories into a vat of feral cats and trashcans. Okay, I'm being dramatic, but it totally made me mad. I've never accidently slept through a class, and the one time I do, it would be the day I actually wanted to go to class. The fact that there was a quiz makes it all the more worse, because now I have to freak out about my grades. I feel horrible, and it makes me want to cry. Now how am I supposed to have a good week when the one thing that was supposed to happen didn's? frustration.

Trying new things, and dropping off men

What broke my day:Miscommunication. Today I was supposed to have a lunch date at 1. Key word:supposed. Didn't happen. Okay, it wasn't technically a date, but we've been good friends for like forever, and we were going to go out just the two of us, and in college, that is a date. Informal, friendly, sweet, and none of that awkward stuff. This boy has put my heart through the ringer, and I'm kind of over him. I mean, I do not need to deal with having m heart strewn across a floor of glass, and I'm comfortable with being just friends. Well, of course as soon as I decide that there is a whole new world of hot opportunities, he decides that he wants to go on a date. Whatever, he said he had a bad weekend and as a friend I feel that I need to be there for him. So, we were supposed to go out for lunch at 1 p.m. after I got out of work. I texted him after I got out of work....nothing. I texted him again and asked where we were meeting....nothing. I get to my dorm and the boy is on facebook. After a half hour of waiting I finally break down and FB message him saying I don't want to be the needy clingy friend but I have class at 3....the boy logs off facebook. then, and hour before I have to go to class, he texts me saying he thought it was three....Uh...I'm pretty sure I mentioned that I have some learning to do at that time. And now he wants to reschedule...make up your freaking mind.  Just because of this 'miscommunication' my heart went through a roller coaster of feelings from, I'll give him a chance...to I can't believe you just did that, to I don't want to see you ever again....to fine, I'll give you another chance. But in the meantime, this miscommunication means that I am going out this weekend to pick up hot boys...they have been added to the itinerary.

Guess I'm not as Smart as I thought, But at Least I'm Hot.

What broke my day: When you think you know what's going on, and then you feel like a fool because you don't really. Now, I'm talking about analyzing literature, but it is soooo ridiculously frustrating when this happens. Right now in my English class we are reading Faust by Goethe (pronounced: goarda or something to that effect.) Now, I absolutely love this author, I even have a little literary crush on him, but reading poetry from a really long time ago is not fun...in the least.  You know how hard it is to read Shakespeare, well this is essentially the same thing. A novel length work of poetry...totally hard core. Now, I love poetry, but for me to understand it fully, I have to go through every single line and translate it into American. That's right, American, not English, because technically it is in English. I'm talking a mix of ghetto, valley girl, super jock, and youtube. Well, I thought I got the gist of Faust and what was happening....nope. I thought a certain character wasn't smart, turns out...he kind of is. I totally missed the spot on some of the reasoning and now I feel stupid. You can buy a "no fear Shakespeare.' but there isn't a 'no fear Goethe", let alone a spark notes on it. So here I am trying to translate this into common English, I should just make av "no fear Goethe" and sell it to spark notes to pay off college. I mean, I did translate one thing correctly: Faust: "May I offer my arm and accompany/A beautiful lady on her way?" to "Can I have yo' numba?" I mean if it read that way, this would be a piece of cake and the 60 pages I have to read tonight wouldn't be so horrifyingly daunting.

Feeling Pretty Mother Nature?

Let me explain my shoddiness in writing. I was going to write yesterday, but I was in such a terrible mood, that it wasn't even worth being a Debbie downer. I try to remember, but sometimes it's hard. Anyways, it turned out all right.
What Broke my day: How ridiculously cold it is right now. Two days ago it was so unbelievably hot, that at Purdue's first football game of the year (which we won! BOILER UP!) that people were being carried out on stretchers from the stands, and the estimated temperature on the field was 122 degrees Fahrenheit. Today, it's 59 degrees, windy, and chilly. WHAT THE HELL MOTHER NATURE? I do not have time for this bull shit right now. I'm went from being unbelievably hot in my non-air-conditioned dorm room two days ago, to wearing long pants and a long-sleeved shirt, and wanting a blanket to keep me warm. I know it's fall, and fall is undoubtedly my favorite season, but come on, what is this nonsense. I can't handle this bi-polar mother nature shit right now, we need to get her on some medication or something. I have enough bi-polar acting people in my life to deal with nature being the same way. I love snuggling up under blankets and having it a little bit chilly, but this dramatic change is affecting my body and wearing it down. I feel like I'm getting sick and I don't have appropriate clothing to wear for this kind of weather. I guess on the plus side, I didn't have to spend a multitude of time outside do to rush, because I dropped it. And I guess that also means that I get to sleep well tonight under my comfy blankets. But right now, this cold weather is just making me a teensy bit angry, and mother nature better be happy she's not an actual person because else I would punch her in the ovaries.

Crazy Troll Dolls and Listing Stuff

What broke my day: When you go out of your way for someone, and they treat you like dirt. So, there's this girl, who I don't really like, but I don't mind her, that hangs out with my friend group. I am nice, and decent to her, and never ever try to make her mad, yet she still pretends that I am not a part of the group. Well, tonight is obviously the weekend, and I'm in college...you do the math. I can't go out any other night this long weekend because come Saturday night I have to get up early the next day for sorority rush. I've had a crazy week and was looking forward to spending the night hanging out, letting loose, and having fun with my friends. Well, that's not going to happen. Today is this girl's birthday, and I've wished her happy birthday twice (once in person), and I even wrote her a nice note on facebook. All my friends wrote nice notes too, and she replied with cute little messages like, "can't wait for tonight!" What did she reply to me???? "thanks" No period, no name, no capitalization. Just thanks. I feel loved. I know it is HER birthday, and I think that she should have an AMAZING time, have fun, dance with boys, and just let loose. But It is so rude of her to not include me in these plans, with MY friends (who I never get to see because I live on a separate floor), and just pretend I am as insignificant as a speck of dust...or less. People who aren't sensitive to other's feelings and are backstabbing snobby too-good-for-you's piss me off. Last I checked we are in COLLEGE, there is no need for middle school actions. But I guess it's all okay, because she looks like one of those troll dolls, so at least I'm prettier than her, (you can tell I'm a little upset and needed to vent, can't you?)

Patronizing Jerks and Writing

What broke my day: People who go to college later in life. Now, I love that they are going to college, I really do, and I am not saying that I hate all people who go to college later in life. I extremely dislike CERTAIN people who go to college later in life. My Bio lab partner is quite a bit older, he already has a wife, a B.A. in business, and has worked in banking. So, I'm assuming he's like 23 or 24. He's back in college to get into medical school, and today, when I JOKINGLY, and EXAGGERATEDLY made a comment about how CERTAIN liberal arts degrees were "just a pathway to, 'would you like fries with that.'", he condescended me like I was a child. First he had insulted the institution of learning that we were attending, saying he thought Purdue was 'narrow minded in their studies.' and that "I.U. (Indiana University, or rival school) was better." I was a little offended, and defended my school and somehow I ended up making that comment. I regretted it, but I also am not one to back down. So when he said that was harsh, in a tone that my parent's would use, I became even more offensive. I am not a child. You are not my elder. We are equals in schooling, and therefore, he had no right to talk down to me. This has happened to me in two different classes, with two people, both older and married. When he took what I said wrong, I began to feel that I was the bad person. Yes, I will admit that I was a tad bit harsh, but him making me feel like a child being told they had been very naughty was not necessary. I have always respected my elders, so when they criticize me it means a lot. But upon talking to my father, I have realized that while we were both at fault for making harsh comments, he had no right to make me the bad person. He is my peer in the sense of schooling, and I don't view him as an elder,and he made an equally harsh comment. But when people patronize me, I get mad and hurt. And that my friends, is Beth's rant of the day.

Sorry Sorry Sorry

What broke my day: Well, what broke my weekend was Rush. If you don't know what that is, let me explain. Rush is a term used when you are trying to get into a fraternity/sorority. I've never thought of myself as a sorostitute, but I knew that if I didn't at least try getting into a sorority, then I would regret it for the rest of my life. I went in with the thought that if I didn't like it, and I was expecting that I wouldn't, I would quit, and no harm done. Now I really like it, but I hate the formal recruitment part. It all started Friday night, I had class from 2:30 to 5:30, and then Rush started at 5:30 and went until 11:30 that night. I hadn't eaten in over 8 hours, so by the time I got back to my dorm, and ordered food I was famished. They had a food round, but everyone knows that eating in front of a stick-thin sorority girl is a no-no. I got to bed around 1, but had to be dressed, adorable, and amazing by 8 a.m. and the day lasted until 7 p.m. Sunday was the same deal. Ridiculous. They have us trudging all over campus without food, in the hot sun for hours. Your are tired, hungry, your feet hurt, your makeup is melting off your face, your cheeks hurt from smiling, your grumpy, and insecure. I mean, they are judging you on your appearance and personality and all, and you want nothing more than to be accepted. It really does suck, and I thought I would hate it, but for some odd reason, I don't. I mean, I'm guaranteed a bid, and if I can get the one house I don't like to drop me before the last round, I'm joining a sorority. I could go on for hours about the negatives and go into detail about how crazy this whole formal recruitment thing is, but I don't think the world is ready for that.

Fun Pop's Help me Make my Bed

What broke my day: Making my bed...at college. So, I'm trying really hard this year to be cleaner, you know keep my closet of a room neat and organized. But there is one definite eyesore. My bed. You look straight through my room and it looks decent, you look up at my lofted bed, and it's a war zone. It's almost like I have ninja battles while I'm sleeping or something, because it is a giant mass off pillows and blankets. I could be hiding a dead body up there and no one would be the wiser...except maybe for the smell, but that's what air freshener is for. So, I haven't made my bed in a while, and it definitely needs it...bad. But it's so hard because by the end of making my bed I'm breaking out in a sweat, and I unfortunately already worked out today, bummer. But honestly, there is so much rolling, climbing, stretching, and awkward noises uttering from my mouth that I'm sure if my door is cracked the poor freshmen would be thinking that I'm having sex or something. Because it's lofted I can't easily reach it to make it, so I have to stand on a chair, but standing on the chair I can't fully reach across the entirety of the bed. To make the bed I have to actually be ON the bed, and that, my friends, is difficult. That's also why I hate washing my sheets, because it just means that making my bed is then inevitable. Either way, I get to choose between whore or murderer. Dang....I guess I'm going to be a whore...

Voyages and The Only One Who Can Make Me Smile

What broke my day: When professors assign books that are only sold at CERTAIN bookstores, and they never seem to overlap. I'm a college student, this does not mean that I have all the time in the world to run to Antarctica and back just to get your stupid books so that I can have assignments done by Thursday. I'm taking three lab classes, with  22 and a half hours in class every week, plus 10 hours of work, plus rushing, plus extra curricular's, plus writing and volunteering, plus the massive amounts of homework I'm receiving, I do not have time for these shenanigans. I have to go to four, yes four, different bookstores around campus to get the books I need. AND they don't tell you where to get them before classes start, so therefore you have absolutely no time to get them when your stress level is at a 2. Now my stress level is at a 9.8 and there is absolutely no way to bring it down. Well there is, but I'm going to need some chocolate and a hot masseuse named Alejandro for that. Sweet dear goodness, that plus I can't seem to get a grip on my love life has this woman breaking down...and out. I don't understand why professors can't just have all the books in one simple place, it seems like it's common sense, but noooooo, they just have to go and complicate things. When they say, "Social life, sleep, good grades: you can only choose two in college." they were not lying. Right now it's going to be sleep, because the career I'm going into requires me to actually talk to people. But since I have to go and trek to see the four wonders of the world and back in 80 minutes there is absolutely no way I will get anything done. Guess the grades are going buh-bye.

The Freshman Failure

What broke my day: Realizing that I am going to fail this semester. Yes, today was the first official day of classes, and it started out optimistic. But then I went to my three, yes three, science classes. Oh the joys of being a science major. Organic chemistry is going to take me, and kick me in the ass. What's worse is that my lab partner can't even speak English, let alone knows anything science related. The entire time I was hoping to God that she wouldn't sit next to me. She's a nice person, and I would absolutely LOVE to be friends, but everything about her screams "FOREIGN!!!!!!!!" I now have to figure out how I'm going to handle the fact that I will have to figure out organic chemistry labs all on my lonesome. That and teach them to someone. Oh darn. Not only that but I'm also taking Analytical Biochemistry, and Cellular Biology. I don't even understand half of what's going on, and I'm extremely stressed about what's going to happen mid-semester when I am so confused. I know I can probably pull it off, but realizing that life is going to be extremely hard this semester will not be a happy part of my day. That and I have absolutely no motivation whatsoever to do any homework at all. I just want to go to bed....but that can't happen. Well let's drink to the fact that my social life will be dead by the end of the semester.

I see a Skype date in my future....

What broke my day: Really bad fortune cookie fortunes. One of my favorite things about the Ford Dining court (the largest dining court on Purdue's campus) is the fact that they ALWAYS have fortune cookies. Whenever my friends and I make the long trek to Ford, we get a fortune cookie and then go around the table and share. It's a good bonding time. So, yesterday was the first fortune cookie sharing circle of the year. I was super duper pumped and hoping to get an awesome fortune. But it wasn't. There was so much disappointment in the cracking of the cookie, and then reading something that isn't even a fortune. They are called fortune cookies for a reason, not unsolicited sage advice cookies.  Maybe the name should be changed. I was expecting to see something that I could add '...in bed.' to in order to make it funny. But what I got instead was, " The constructive use of riches is better than their possession." Okay, technically you can add '...in bed.' to that one, but in that case it would just be an encouragement, still not a fortune. I wanted something more along the lines of, "Riches will come your way." I'm a college student, I'm already broke, I don't need you to remind me to spend what little I have constructively on ramen noodles. I understand that. I want a new fortune. Like, an actual fortune, not some Chinese proverb. I felt left out when I broke open that crunchy, golden brown cookie and read something stupid, when all my friends got to read pure awesomeness. They all got a chance at love, or a promising night, I got my mother in a cookie. It's like the universe wants me to be responsible, and is willing to use fortune cookies as a way to remind me of that. Fat chance on that one universe, fat chance.

I may be forever alone, but at least I'll have friends

What broke my day: Not having air conditioning. Ahh the sacrifices we make for the places we love. I love my dorm, but I hate that if I don't have a fan blowing directly on me my face is glistening in sweat. And not a cute glistening, a gross, nasty, totally not cool glistening. There are times where it looks like someone has thrown a bucket of oil on my face. It is morbid. In fact, it is hotter inside, than it is outside, especially with the fans off. I don't know how that is possible, but it is, and it is not pleasant in the least. I mean, how the heck is that supposed to work? Falling asleep is the worst. I'm the kind of person who needs to sleep under a sheet, and I also flip my pillow over to the cold side. This is a little bit difficult in this weather. Not only do I have to sleep nearly naked, but in order to not wake up in a bed that looks like it has been thrown into the Lake Michigan of sweat, I can't even sleep under any covers. That's right, take a mental picture, because this probably won't ever be spoken of again. Last night I laid there with nothing on my mind except how freaking hot it was. Not only is it difficult to sleep at night, but my face is breaking out. I look like I've been hit by shrapnel. I have little volcanoes of grossness all over my face due to the 'glistening' nature of my face, and it is not at all attractive. No amount of cover up can fix  my massive breakouts, and it's a struggle to even look remotely attractive. And I smell. Because of all the sweat deodorant has only been lasting about 4 hours, and by the end of the day everyone just smells raunchy. So, I've been walking around with these giant bags under my eyes, snow capped volcanoes all over my face, and the stench of a dead cat. Forever alone, forever alone.

Watermelon feet and Being home

What broke my day: The fact that my feet hurt so super bad. Yep, yesterday was move in day, and since I live on the second floor of my dorm which holds no elevator, this involved a lot of climbing of stairs with heavy boxes...with an injured foot (the chemical burning of my foot saga is continuing.). By the end of the full day of standing up, reaching high up, climbing up and down stairs and my bed my feet were swollen to the size of watermelon. Ironically, they were also pink and swollen, giving the appearance on the inside of a watermelon. Granted, by the end of the day, I really mean 1:30 this morning, and having been up since 6 the previous morning and only spending approximately 3.5 hours of that sitting, that averages out to about 16 hours of standing and packing and unpacking. They hurt even when I wasn't standing, and it really sucked trying to fall asleep with my feet throbbing. I mean, it was like I was nine months pregnant with triplets and high blood pressure bad. Not only did my burns hurt like the devil and other inappropriate words, but combined with the watermelon like appearance they were attractive and annoying. I spent probably 40 minutes trying to fall asleep with my mind on only one thing....my feet. But it's a new day, and they don't hurt nearly as bad, but I can guarantee that they will by the end of the day. poop.

Packing and Elephant

What broke my day: When you have so much to do you can't even think ahead to then next minute. That's what today has been. Pure unadulterated craziness. Like I want to make todays post 4 sentences because I don't have anytime to think let alone let my creative juices flow. Tomorrow is move in day and I'm so busy running last minute errands, packing, taking care of odds and ends, packing, cleaning, packing, fighting with my sister, and packing. Don't get me wrong, I thrive on stress and keeping busy, but with so much to do it's getting me worried. So, I'm going to end this post soon, because right now my focus needs to be on packing. The fact that I have barely a second to breath, and likely won't until I go to sleep (probably at 1 in the morning) tonight...err tomorrow, is daunting. But, it's like my dad says, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

Sometimes It Takes Getting Hurt to Realize the Support You Have

What broke my day:When you give people the benefit of the doubt, and they just ruin everything. Today was supposed to be a good day, but then my grandma just had to go and ruin it. I know that I've mentioned my relationship with my grandmother isn't great, but today she just ruined any and all semblance of a relationship we might have had. I'm not writing this to bash her or out of spite or bitterness, but what she did today hurt. First: back story. My grandmother and my mother have a really bad relationship, because my mom called my grandma out on her bad behavior. That means that my mom is at fault for everything bad that happens to my grandmother. Lately, my grandma has been complaining that she just doesn't know what to do with us kids, but she wants a relationship. There is plenty to do with us, but being dutch she refuses to spend any money on us. So, being the bigger person I suggested that I go over and bake cookies with her for me to take to college. (no matter how much I don't liker her...she can make a mean cookie). I don't want a relationship with my grandma, but I didn't want to hurt her, so I tried. All was going well until the third round of cookies was in the oven. Then she started talking about how horrible my parents were. It would take too long to explain how vindictive and manipulative she is( like no lies...I could write a 600 page book on the woman just for you to understand) but we will leave it at this, she is vindictive and is never, ever at fault. She forced me to take a side and no matter how much like Sweden I tried to remain she kept pushing at me to make me hate my parents. I even told her at least twice that I was not comfortable being in the position she was putting me in, I didn't want to take sides. She didn't take the hint. I was really close to blowing up and telling her my true feelings and then walking out. But I didn't want to stoop to her level...and those cookies were looking mighty delicious. As soon as I left I cried uncontrollably. I was attacked, and it hurt. I had to talk out my feelings with my Great Aunt Phyll and Dad until I finally could figure out how I felt and stop the waterworks. I realized that I found it utterly rude of her to do that to me, and put me in a place where I can't win. I was trying so hard to be nice and give her the benefit of the doubt, and she took that opportunity to crush my heart and throw it in the trash. I took time out of my crazy, busy schedule of packing in good faith that she wouldn't pull a stunt, and she made my day become an emotionally draining one. I'm now accepting applications for a new grandmother, preferably one like Betty White.

Devil People and Being a Selfish Snob

What broke my day: Well, okay, this didn't break my day, but to cheer up a certain friend, I will rant about someone I don't like. The second week of school last year I befriended a lonely looking boy, who seemed out of sorts. Not going to lie, I felt sorry for him. Well, he became super annoying, and one day when I saw him eating alone in the dining court, he got super duper personal, WAAAYYY to fast. Soon, I became resentful of him, and he was in almost all of my classes. I'm not the only one who doesn't like him, but I am the only one who will outwardly state that I don't like him. So much so that before the end of the first semester, my friends and I would refer to him as "he-who-must-not-be-named", or "public enemy number one." He just did things that pissed everyone off. He always talked about how good his grades were, yet in chem lab I was the one doing all the calculations because he couldn't figure them out. I don't doubt that he did get good grades, but so do I, and you don't see me telling people that I'm better than them just because I got 4% higher on an exam than they did either. Also, he talked about how he was pre-med and how he planned on going to Washington University in St. Louis for med school. HA! That's a really damn good school to go to, and I highly doubt that he will get in with no extra curricular's, and not even being a pre-med major. Confused? So was I. He's officially majoring in....English? I'm sorry, but that's not even remotely related to medicine. When people like him just waltz around with their noses in the air thinking they're better than you and have a better chance at getting into med school, when I work hard, chose the right major or my future and try ten times harder than him, then it makes me mad. Do you know what happens then? I get you kicked out of chem lab, so that you receive a zero (thanks to the best TA Kevin, and the best friend, Tiffany), and I make others publicly hate you. Don't mess with me....ever.

Badly Behaving Computers and The Silent Meaning

What broke my day: My ridiculously bad behaving computer. I got this thing almost a year ago today, and now it decides to be all ridiculous. I don't think you understand the frustration I have with this computer. I treat it well, I don't download things that are sketchy, and I try not to clog up all the space and such, but it wants to be a picky little buggar. I treat it like my child, and right now if it were my child, I would put it in time out. I was just about to get on the Internet to sit and ponder what broke my day, when it decides that it doesn't want to type. Whenever my computer goes to the log-in page, like if I haven't used it for 3 minutes, then it decides it doesn't want to type, nothing works, and that stupid 'not responding' message pops up. Then I have to completely restart my computer and potentially lose stuff. I don't know why it does that, but it's really ridiculous, and totally wastes my time. Plus, lately it's taking a really long time to start up, which is really frustrating. I really need to take it in to someone who knows computers, or of course I could just wait until I get to school and then flirt with the engineers (I knew I chose one of the top Engineering schools in the nation for a reason) until they fix it for me.  Maybe I need to go through and delete a bunch of things to clean it up, but isn't that a child's job, to clean their own room? Either way, my baby is entering its terrible two's and I'm not enjoying it one bit. I mean sometimes I have a brilliant epiphany for writing, and then by the time I shut down and restart my computer I've lost the idea....and it's gone forever. Sometimes I wish it was a real child, because then I could give it a much needed spanking for its epically bad behavior.

Craft time with Stressed Stacy

What broke my day: Stressing out for no reason.This morning I found out that I am moving into my dorm a day early because my dad had a work conflict.  While I am thoroughly excited to be moving in a day early (this means one more day to party without commitments or homework..just kidding) I had a near mental breakdown realizing that I have A LOT to do before Friday morning. My stuff is all over the house, so I have to pretty much clean every room so that I can find all of my stuff, and do laundry, get everything sorted and packed and much more. It stressed me out. This year I have also decided that I am taking not near as much stuff, so trying to figure out what clothes and  other things to keep at home (because I actually have a room to put them in) is also stressful. I'm the kind of person who can find a situation for everything, so I think that I may need a winter coat in August. But then looking at what's in my room again, I think I have plenty of time to do all this packing. I have five days, including today, because I'm leaving early on Friday. Well, four since I'm working an exceptionally long day tomorrow. But the fact that I spent the entire morning freaking out, and not concentrating on the sermon being preached at church (whoops...sorry God.) for no reason in reality made me upset, because now I'm bored and have nothing to do in reality. Well, maybe I should just get packed now, so I have more time to find missing stuff, but there's so much to do, I have no idea where to start. On the plus side, the sooner I pack, the more time I have read a book. Decisions, decisions...

Writing about a Scary Movie

What broke my day: The light out of my window. I know this doesn't apply to everyone, in fact I'm sure it only applies to me, but directly outside of my window is a streetlamp. It's pretty, and gives off that quaint, old-English garden feel, except at night. At night, it looks like one of those flickering street lamps in horror movies. You know the one, that flickers ominously as the main character proceeds down the street right into the hands of the mass murderer. Ours stays lit, and then flickers out, then flickers on 5 minutes later, and then flickers out, and the process continues. Not only does it freak me out when I come home at 1 o'clock in the morning, it also makes our quaint home look like it's the safe haven for a psychotic serial killer. But what bothers me the most about this light is that if my blind is open, which it is if I have one of the cats sleeping in my room (because else they play with the blind or whatever),and I'm trying to sleep, I see the flickering all night. It would seem as if I could just not face the window, but because I'm in such close proximity to the light, it changes the ambiance of my room. It's like someone is standing at my light switch playing with the automatic dimmer. It's super annoying, and all I want is for someone to change the damn light bulb. I'm not a mass murderer, but if they don't fix that light by the time I come back for Christmas, I may become one.

Ruined Dreams and Anniversaries

What broke my day: When your having a perfectly decent dream and then it turns into a nightmare because of an outside force. I don't dream very often, so when I do it's a very special thing. Last night I had a dream that I was living in the 40's and I had a husband and such. We were taking a vacation with our friends and while some mild friend drama occurred (we were the real housewives of the 40's for goodness sakes, there had to be SOME drama), we were packing up to get in our vehicle and leave. Just as we were about to put the bags in the car, an alarm clock went off....but I didn't wake up; I still was sleeping, so the alarm clock was going off in my dream. I was being blamed by everyone in the dream for the incessant noise, so I searched for my suitcase to find my alarm clock, but my bag was missing. Soon, other people started missing, things went awry, and I was running away from demons and witches. It was terrifying. I wouldn't have been so upset had I awoken to find that my alarm clock was the culprit. But I had turned off my alarm clock the night before so that I could sleep in. It was my sister's alarm clock. I woke up from my dream and the alarm was still going off, and that just pissed me off. I mean if I can hear it while still sleeping then my sister could too....it takes five seconds to hear the snooze, so just hit the button already. I wasn't super belligerent towards her(so that means I get brownie points), but I'm still mad that she ruined what could have been a perfectly good dream. Instead of waking up in blissful happiness, I woke up in a pool of sweat, terror, and annoyance at the fricking beeping that had lasted for 10 minutes. It was not a good way to start my day.

My Heart is Torn for Blueberries

What broke my day: Being emotionally torn. Everyone has those decisions. When they have to make an important life choice and don't know what to do. When their heart tells them to take the risk that could end in disappointment but their mind tells them to hold on to their ideals. I'm not going into specifics here because it's a little personal to be telling the whole world my emotional dilemma, but this is a generalization. Now, I'm fine and I don't need to talk about it, I already have so don't go trying to solve my problems. I'm not in a deep depression or anything so don't get all worried about my well being. But let's be honest, everyone in their life will at one time or another have this problem. It's not a fun problem, and it never is. Right now my mind is so filled with the indecision it consumes my thoughts and emotions. These decisions have the tendency to consume you like a dinosaur would. I don't care how Jurassic park portrays it...if you get faced with a Tyrannosaurus Rex you are going to get consumed. One little thought turns into a huge life decision full of inconsistencies. There is no right choice (well there is, but it's not the one you feel you need to follow) and soon that Tyrannosaurus will get you, and in both cases the ending doesn't look pretty. Yes, it's a doom and gloom topic. But having your heart torn with indecision is a worse feeling than dying a slow painful death in a hole that involves clowns, needles, and festering wounds with sand rubbed in them. I just hope that somehow I can hold strong, make the right decision, and prove myself, and the world wrong.

Goodism and Russel Brand

What broke my day: Okay, yesterday was a great day overall. But there was thing that could have made it even better. (other than the fact that I had to get laser surgery which was epically painful). Yesterday I didn't wake up in time to take a shower, which I really needed...like bad.  So, I spent the entire day feeling filthy, and sticky. Let's call it dewy, I felt dewy all day. My hair was greasy, my skin was oily, and I felt smelly and extremely unattractive all day. That and I also didn't have time to put on any makeup so I had the soft, glistening, glow of sticky nastiness all over my face. I hate feeling unclean...it's a pet peeve, and I feel extremely gross if I don't shower at least once every 24 hours. I feel that if I notice how glisten-y I look, then surely others will too, and since I spent a lot of the day in public, I therefore felt that everyone was judging me. They probably weren't, and I'm just extremely narcissistic, but in my mind that's the way it is...so sue me. You probably know the feeling of stickiness that I'm describing, I mean we all have those days. It's not that I wasn't hygienic for the day, I still brushed my teeth and stuff. I just had to put on extra sprays of perfume to counteract the day old stale smell of sweat, dirt, oil, and dead skin....delicious. I felt like Russell Brand. You know how he just looks sticky. Like I feel if I ever shook his hand I would need to wash it in acid because he would be sticky, or I would catch an STD or something, I felt like that. I had no choice though. I just put my hair up in a pony tail, and sucked it up until I got the opportunity to shower. And when I did, I felt ten times lighter.
What made my day: Making someone's day. One of my greatest goals in life is to make others feel better. To change someone's life for the positive. Being a role model, or being a major influence is on my bucket list. It's one of those things that I never will truly know if I achieved, but it's an idealism that I have to encourage good behavior on my part. I know people that have changed my life, I want to return the favor so that the cycle of goodism continues. Because of this I try my hardest to be thoughtful, so that I can do something to make someone smile. Yesterday I think I accomplished that. I had my nephew Isaiah for the entire day but my Dad called and wanted to know if I would go to the Farmer's Market. I did. We'll put it this way...it was an adventure with a 2 year old in tow. There are TONS of flowers there, and I'm a sucker for fresh picked flowers, so I had a brilliant epiphany. We would buy flowers and I would take my little delivery boy to my mother's work, and my brother's girlfriend's work to hand deliver them. So we picked out a varying array of Gerber daisies and Zinnia's and began our trek to surprise two important women in my nephew's life. Seeing my mom's face light up when she saw Isaiah holding those flowers at work was worth all the trouble. She proudly showed everyone her grandson and told them that he brought her flowers. Seeing her smile made me feel that any little upset she had with me earlier was all gone. Then when we brought the flowers to Angela (my brother's girlfriend) it was the icing on the cake. I think that she was shocked to see us, and when she put the flowers out where everyone could see them, I knew that I had done my job. I was glad that I could make two people happy, and it inspired me to do more. To surprise people and show them my respect and love for them through simple, easy things. Doing something without occasion or out of necessity is the best way to show someone you care. You care, even when you don't have to, and to me that's what love is all about.

Death Stares and Thrifting

What broke my day: When my mother gets that "I'm disappointed in you but I'm not going to tell you that I am." face. It gets me so mad. Today I went thrift shopping...it was awesome. But I ended up spending way too much money, as usual, and I bought a bag that I can carry my school books in. My mom bought me a super nice one the other day for 30 dollars and I absolutely love it. Problem is, I'm worried that the new one won't hold enough books, or it will break. My worry was that I would get to school, it wouldn't work, and I would be stranded without anything to carry my books to and fro or forth and with. This new bag looks super old and is really cool (but not as pretty as the new one) and was only $4.50. Pretty good deal. My mom got upset when she found out, finding the purchase frivolous. Though she won't admit how mad she is. I think she's upset mostly because I made her spend a lot of money (in her mind) on a bag that I probably won't even use. She doesn't trust that I will use the bag for its intended purpose. But she just sat there on the couch with the slightly pursed lips, and death stare of disappointment. No matter how much I tell her I love her she refuses to tell me how she really feels. All I want is for her to be proud of me and to not be mad. But when she gets that look on her face, it's as if a 2 ton paraplegic elephant is sitting on my heart. It makes me feel sad.  Today, when she gave me that look, it made me disappointed in myself, and that is no fun at all.

The Dutch Guide to Shopping

What broke my day: Spending money. I absolutely hate spending money, and as I'm moving to school in 11 days I am in shopping mode. Today we spent like 90 dollars on school supplies and it's so depressing to me. Now, I know that most people don't like spending money, but I think that I hate spending it more than the average American. I'm from Holland....Michigan, it's like the little Netherlands. Not the modern day Netherlands...the kind of Netherlands from the 1800's. Here in Holland, if you ain' Dutch, you ain't much. My mother is 100% dutch. No, she can't speak the language, nor can her parents, but since pretty much everyone here marries within their community (not so much anymore, but in the past) there is still a pure Dutch line. I don't know if you know this, but the dutch people are notorious for being stingy and wanting the best quality for the least amount of money. (Understand the term Going Dutch now?) Leave it to the Dutch people to settle in a state which has the highest return price on soda cans. My mother, and a lot of people around here, definitely shows the Dutch side. Example: Up until I was 10 and told my mother what she was doing was ridiculous, my mother would stop on the side of the road if she had seen a pop can and then proceed to make me get out of the car to get the can. She was willing to risk her daughter's life for 10 cents. She had her priorities straight. While I am only 50% dutch, I am also German....these people aren't necessarily known for their stinginess, but listen to this. The German's I come from came to America and became....Amish. Stinginess is in my blood, and spending money is almost a sin. It's the way I was raised, and the fact that I had to spend money today,  just makes me feel like my ancestors would roll in their graves. I hate feeling poor, and even though I'm not super poor, spending any kind of money makes me feel like I'm a step away from living on the street.
What made my day: Buying things. Yes, I hate spending money, but I absolutely love getting new things...it's because I'm Dutch. High quality of living, low expenditure. As I said I spent 90 dollars today, but for the amount of stuff I got, I should feel good. Yep...you are totally getting a complete list. Today, I got: 24 Mechanical Pencils, 3 12packs of Command poster strips, really nice headphones, an 8 pack of Bic highlighters, 12 pack of paper mate super nice colored felt-tip pens, 5 ball point retractable pens, a large pack of post-it's, 2 different types of page flags, 2 college ruled plastic covered notebooks, 2 2packs of wite-out,  5 glue sticks, 2 sharpies, 2 mini notebooks, a magazine holder, a water bottle, and a drawer organizer. Now that I'm back from work I get to open all these shiny new things, and it's like Christmas all over. I get to play with all my stuff, get it packed and feel all awesome because I have great new things. I know it's a little weird that I'm getting all excited about office supplies, but I love organization, and office supplies help keep me organized.  Plus they all have that new smell which is so super awesome. Getting so many new things makes me feel all rich and happy, it's exciting. Just looking at the massive pile of new things laying on my bed makes me feel all giddy and happy like a 4 year old me on my Birthday. You should know that we have video footage related to this. My dad asks me repeatedly what I want for my Birthday and I repeatedly answer a barbie and nothing else. Cut to me opening my first present....a barbie. My face goes all surprised and it's like I can't believe what I'm seeing. It's almost as if I just discovered buried treasure and it's golden gleam lights up my face. Well, that look is how I feel when I get lots of new stuff. It makes me feel like I just struck gold. Though, if I find buried treasure, that would be five hundred kabillion gazillion times better. If someone could arrange that....it would be awesome.

Let's Skip (a day) eating Thai food to go shopping.

What broke my day: Not getting Thai food. I have had an intense craving for Thai food for the past month and a half. Like I think about it for at least an hour a day. It's bad. I love Thai food...okay, I love pad Thai. Here's the problem. Nobody in my family likes Thai food...except me. This creates a dilemma because I can never get Thai food because no one else will eat it with me. Except for one person. My honorary little sister, Anisa is even more obsessed with Thai food than I am. She's so in love with it that I think her life's goal is to work at the Thai Palace so that she can eat there all she wants. She would be happy with giving up her dancing career if it meant she could have Thai food every night for the rest of her life. So, I told her I was feeling some Thai food, and we decided to have a date...to get Thai food. Anyways...that was the plan. We went to see Rise of The Planet of The Apes (which was super duper epically stupid in my opinion) and then went shopping. By the time we finished shopping, the Thai palace had closed. It was super depressing. We are definitely having Thai food before I leave for college. But at the same time I had my hopes up for Thai food, and it was a little sad that it didn't happen. Now my cravings are intensified times ten and I may just gorge myself on my own if I don't get Thai soon. Seriously, I may have to kill a bitch if I don't get it soon.

Laundry and Self-bribery

What broke my day( the other day): Laundry. I hate doing laundry. Especially when I'm at school, which I'm not currently (15 Days!!!!) but the thought of doing laundry there is just depressing. I think it's the fact that it takes so much time to gather all my clothes, sort them, check them for stains to be treated, wash and dry them, lug everything up and down two flights of stairs (4 if I'm at school) and then fold it, hang it, iron it, ect. It's a lot of work and takes a ridiculous amount of time. Why would I want to waste my valuable time hunting and gathering clothing. I thought we had evolved past the era of fire. I am not cave woman. Me no need to hunt and gather. (insert guttural noise here). I don't necessarily mind the folding, but it's the thought of carrying a basket overflowing with clothes up the stairs. Moreover the fact that I can't see where I'm going and I never know when a cat is going to shoot under my feet so that I step on them. Laundry day is like work out day. I calculate that I go up and down the stairs and extra 20 times (because I always hope the washing machine is done, and then it turns out it was off balance) on laundry day, and at 15 seconds per staircase that's 5 minutes of stair climbing with a 30 lb load. Laundry is so inconvenient and the constant leg workout doesn't make me want to do it that much more. But, as I'm soon to leave for college I have to start doing all my laundry so that I can have all the clothes I need. Why can't I just buy new clothes....it would be so much easier.

Two for One: Contacts

What broke my day: The same thing that made my day. Contacts. Today I finally got contacts after a long time. I needed them (but that's for later). First off I hate going to the eye doctor because it makes my eyes hurt. And then they do that damn thing where they puff air into your eye. Then they get frustrated when I flinch. Of course, I flinch...eyelids are used to protect your eyes from that sort of thing, where did you get an education? Anyways, then the doctor said I have largely curved cornea...what in this sweet blue planet is that supposed to mean? I thought it was supposed to be that way....considering an eye is spherical in shape. Anyways I still got the contacts and am now on a trial pair. But they are uncomfortable. They are so hard to get out...I can get them in fine, and I feel like they keep wrinkling. It's super awkward feeling, and it keeps making my eye go blurry. I know I've got a lot to get used too and it will totally be worth it in the end, but it's frustrating right now. They are all awkward and such and make my eyes hurt. Not only that but now I can't hide my dark circles. Yes, I know how to cover them up somewhat, but when you've inherited dark circles so intense that even with makeup I look like I'm on drugs is not my idea of beautiful(thanks dad!). I will have a lot to get used too but for now I'm complaining.

Drosophilia and Discount Shopping

What broke my day: Fruit Flies. Not the act of  pineapples, pomegranates, apples and oranges soaring through the air with the greatest of ease. Drosophilia...the common fruit fly. I am such a nerd for knowing the scientific name of a fruit fly....great. Now, I have worked with drosophilia before, they are often used for scientific studies related to genetics (meaning I'm going to be working with them for my entire life), and they are amazing for that. But for the past week we have had an infestation of Drosophilia in my house. This has happened the past two years, and it's disgusting. For some reason the outbreak of flying annoyingness starts in our bathroom. I know it's not because our house is dirty,  because the plague started when the bathroom was clean, but somehow they got in there and started multiplying like rabbits. One fly turned into hundreds in 2 days, and they spread everywhere. It's absolutely disgusting, and they are so friggin hard to get rid of too. Every time I go into the bathroom they are on the walls and it almost makes the air seem hazy with their flitting around in front of my face. It's like they are sticking their tongues out and saying 'na-na-na-na-boo-boo' mocking me. They are in my room, the bathroom (which makes me want to not shower because I feel like they are just as bad as cockroaches...gross) and now in the kitchen. I don't remember how we got rid of them last year but we better figure it out soon because it's frustrating and gross and annoying. But I am determined to have the last laugh. Bring on the re-cleaning of the entire house! (Eeeewwww) Little does this army of Drosophilia know that I have a secret weapon that is such an engineering feat even the German(cockroaches) would run away from. I will win this war using military tactics and Raid. Bring it on.

The number Eight and Made in the USA

What broke my day(yesterday): Other than intending to write and then completely forgetting, I hate the number 8. With a passion. A fiery burning passion of disgust. Yes, I am pulling this one out of my 'I can't think of anything that isn't redundant' hat. But in this list of options are things that I really don't like, but it seems useless to write about on any day, so I'll save them for the days where my life is mediocre( which happens more often than not, oddly). Anyways, I'm not kidding about this whole number 8 thing. I really do hate the number 8. Most people have a favorite number, I have a favorite number I'd like to avoid. I know it's psychotic to hate a number; I mean what ever in the whole world could a number do to me? A lot. My intense hatred of that satanic number started in the first grade when we were learning to spell it. Whoever came up with the spelling of that number sucks because it plagued me for a long time. It's honestly the worst number ever to spell when your learning. It's supposed to be EFGHI....not EIGH... that's just confusing. Note: I'm a good speller too, so that's saying something. Plus in math 8 sucks. Multiplying and dividing it makes me want to have a brain aneurysm. To this day I still struggle doing math that involves 8 in my head to the point where if I see that as a math problem, I just ignore the entire problem. My friend Sarah says that it's easy to add....I think she should be institutionalized. Apparently there was a trick all along that I was never informed of....something about pretending it's 10 and then subtracting 2...whatever. I still think it's a really stupid number. It would make my life a whole heck of a lot easier if we just got rid of the number all together...can we please work on that?

Jiminy Cricket there's Sand in my Sandwhich

What broke my day: Sand. Now, don’t get me wrong sand has it’s strong points. Living in West Michigan we have beautiful sand here. It squeaks when you walk on it making it feel very clean (which it isn’t but still it seems that way). Sand is the kind of thing that seems like a good idea in theory but isn’t so great in reality. Sand gets in all of your crevices and even in your hair....disgusting. It’s the gift that keeps on giving, and giving and giving. After one single excursion to the beach I can still find sand in my hair for up to a week afterwards. No matter what you do when your on the beach, no matter how careful you are, you can never seem to keep your towel free of sand.  Many things sound like a good idea on the beach, but they aren’t that great because of , you guessed it, sand. Picnics on the beach: Seemingly romantic until you take a bite into your sandwich and you find that is actually a SANDwich. Walks on the beach: Romantic, except for the fact that for some reason the sand migrates northward and somehow it’s in your shoes and pants. Somehow you come home and sand is in your purse which you didn’t even take to the beach. What’s the worst is when you get it in your mouth. You never know how it happens, but then it grinds against your teeth and crunches in your ear. It’s almost worse than fingernails against a chalkboard. I dislike sand. It’s not an opinion, it’s a fact.

Fruits and Vegetab....ooohhh Shiny!

What broke my day: ADHD. If you weren't aware, I have ADHD...my whole family does. And I'm not talking about the, "my kid won't behave so give them some meds so that I don't feel like an inadequate, lazy parent" diagnosis of ADD. I actually have it, and have struggled with it. I know people think that ADD/ADHD is just an excuse, a fake disease like fibromyalgia, but my history shows that I really do have it. When I was in first grade I was at the bottom of my class, expected to repeat the first grade because I was struggling. Then I got diagnosed, and put on medication. By the end of the year I had shot up to the top reading group (I was at the bottom before) and I was at the top of my class, which persisted all throughout my school career. Still, I hate that to be a functional person I need to take pills. It's annoying really. Yesterday (I didn't post because of this...I forgot) I didn't take my pill as an experiment. What did I do all day?...I'm not really sure. I ate a lot because I couldn't control my hunger, I attempted to work out but quickly got bored, and other than that I'm not really sure. I hate that when I'm not on my pill I can't seem to complete anything, because my attention is everywhere. Case and point...yesterday I used 6 different workout DVD's using only 5 minutes of each because I got that bored that fast. It was horrendous. I wish that for once I wouldn't have to remember to take my medication so that I could complete a thoug.....hey, I'm going to go ride a bike.

Guilt and The Happily Ever After

What broke my day:  Feeling guilty when I shouldn't. I have this complex that I feel guilty when someone feels bad or doesn't get what they want, even when I have no control over the situation. What made me think of this was an incident that happened today at the Coast Guard run. I didn't run the race, but I had walked quite a ways over the course of the morning (my estimate: at least 3 miles, not including the fact that I was on my feet for 4 hours) and I was sweating, tired, and my foot was really hurting me (you know, chemical burns and all). My friends that had run the race were getting a drink and something to eat before the volunteers threw the leftovers out, and I was obviously dehydrated (to the point where I was starting to feel faint, but I wouldn't admit it.) I didn't feel right taking a water, or eating something because I didn't run, I didn't pay, and I feel like that is stealing. I would have felt inexorably guilty if I had taken anything, because I didn't deserve it. I hate that I do that. I hate feeling like I let people down, and I hate when other people are let down by others. I tend to take all the blame for everything in my mind, and that leads me to feel guilty about everything I do. And I mean everything. Today for instance, I felt guilty about complaining about the heat, complaining about my foot, not wanting to go to the beach, not listening to my sister's annoying story, not wanting to eat my sister's fried gross vegetables (because I feel guilty about eating three brownies yesterday), making my parents spend money on college, and many other things, but we don't have all day. Anyway, point of the story....I constantly feel guilty about everything, and I need to get over it, other people's issues aren't my problem. I need to learn to help people, but not get all bent out of shape. But that makes me feel like I'm self-centered, and that makes me feel guilty. It's a cold, cruel, circle of bad feelings.

Bonding over Brassiers

What broke my day: Bra Shopping. What should make every woman feel sexy brings me stress, feelings of inferiority, and depressing thoughts that make me want to curl up with a pint of Chocolate Haagen-Daas. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I have knockers the size of Jupiter. I am a minority in the brassier industry, and just because I'm a white, middle class, blonde haired female, doesn't mean I'm not discriminated against or sometimes feel like a minority. I'm part of the 1% of women with DD size breasts, and let me tell you...it sucks. All the cute bras are for size A, B, C, and sometimes D. All the ones in my size: brown, white, floppy, and usually have age-defying lift. As I said yesterday, I'm 18 not 87. I'm a firm believer that cute underwear can give tons of confidence, but it's hard to find undergarments that look frickin adorable, when your a minority. What's more is that bras for the woman with hooter's are more expensive. Just because I have stripper boobs doesn't mean I have a stripper budget. And, while bra shopping today I saw my great-aunts (who are more like my grandparents), which was slightly awkward. I know that men are attracted to my minority, but when you can't find a bra that makes you feel attractive, it doesn't help anything. Today I paid and entire day's babysitting wages on a single bra at Victoria's Secret, because it was the only one out of two different stores that fit. Is it too much to ask for an affordable, adorable bra in my size? One things for sure...I see a breast reduction in my future.

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your Arthritis Medication

What broke my day: Feeling bloated. Not feeling fat, but feeling so extremely bloated that you just want to go to bed. I've been feeling like that all day, and it's so annoying. Feeling bloated makes me feel all gross and lame, and lazy. My joints feel like they need to be cracked to remove the fluid, much like I feel when I wake up. Which is why I feel lazy; feeling like you just woke up every moment for a day will do that to you. I keep cracking my neck and fingers hoping that they will feel better, but instead I am left feeling like a 98 year-old woman with arthritis. I don't know if your aware, but my name isn't Benjamin Button, and I, an 18 year-old should not feel like I am 87.  I have been drinking water all day, and I am not dehydrated, but for some reason I can't shake this feeling....of being old and gross. The only thing I can hope is that as an old-woman I'm more like Betty White than Mrs. Crabtree I tried taking a bath, drinking water, working out (which is extremely hard considering I'm a gimp) but still it's just one of those days where being an old woman is how I feel. My eyes are all puffy, I mean to say they feel puffy, but they look fine, I have a dim headache, and it looks like tonight is going to be an early night, because staying up and feeling like this isn't going to help. This has turned into a laundry list of complaints, but being Betty White is okay with me...so I better start... assholes.
What made my day: For the past couple days I have been having this intense movie quote 'battle' if you will, via facebook with my friend. Back story: I have watched the movie Tangled literally 8 times within the past 3 days. 5 times with my nephew, and 3 times with another girl I babysit. This reminded me of my friend pink Sarah who watched the movie like 20 times the week of finals. So I told her that I had found her perfect child, my nephew, who will watch it with her as much as she wants. Then she quoted something from the movie, I quoted back, she requoted, I....well you get the drift. I'm running out of quotes, and am finding myself watching the movie on purpose to get more quotes, because going on IMBD feels like cheating because she knows these quotes by heart. The fact that we are two adult women, quoting a Disney princess movie like we wrote the darn thing makes me feel not only a little nerdy, but a little like I'm reliving my childhood. I mean Disney Princesses and girls go together like peanut butter and jelly. Even frat guys understand this fact. Don't believe me: go to fratmusic.com, go to the playlists under hoe'in out (derogatory, but that doesn't change the fact that they impressed me with their playlists and how they are perfectly geared towards women) and there is a playlist called DDDDIIIIISSSSNNNNEEEEYYYY. The quote battle isn't really violent or malicious, but it will decide who is more girly, and let me tell you pink Sarah is going to win. I love the fact that my friends get as geeked out about certain child-like subjects as I do. It makes me feel like I'm not a loser.  And that is why it makes my day.

Chemical Warfare and Singing in the 'Rain'

What broke my day: Caustic burns. So, I have this wart on my foot, which you totes wanted to know. But last year I had some procedures done to remove it. First we had the whole let's put liquid nitrogen on your foot and hope that works. Then we put acid on it, and then my podiatrist found out I was leaving for college so we couldn't  finish the final treatments (darn). So, chemical warfare being a failure, we went straight to the big guns. We lasered it off. That was not only painful, but it left a gaping, gross, third degree burn on the bottom of my foot for weeks. I thought that after that battle, I had won the war. Well, I was given false hope because iiiiitttttt'sssss bbbaaaacccckkkk. So, today we made the trek back to the podiatrists office to try the chemical warfare again. Yay! Every girls dream is to have some type of unidentified acid applied to the bottom of their feet. (it's so the boys can catch them) Let me tell you this one thing, chemical burns are delicious looking. It's red, raw, oozy, blistery, and if it turns out like last time, well soon form a fine layer of pus (I just gagged a little). Not only that but now I'm limping like some crippled person, and I can't keep the bandage on, making it all the more gross. I'm not looking forward to the next couple weeks of gimp-dom. But on the plus side, I don't have to run my 5k.

How are the following related? Cops, Hitler, AIDS, and Helen Keller.

What broke my day: Speeding Tickets. Okay, so technically this happened last night, but of course I'm still raving about it. I am always the one to get stopped and it is NEVER my fault. I've been driving my moms car for the summer, and I guess there is some electrical problem, and last night I got pulled over because both of my tailights were out. I was shaking I was so terrified. I hate getting in trouble, and this is definitely the epitome of getting in trouble. I think the cop realized how terrified I was and looked upon me with pity...well either that or he liked the planets. But I like to think the former. Anyways, he nicely informed me, and I'm glad he was really nice. But he ended up giving me a ticket, well not a ticket, but a ticket. It's called a something and repair or whatever, which means that if the car isn't proven fixed in ten days the ticket goes on MY record. I who doesn't speed, who hasn't gotten in a major car accident, who tries to be careful. This is the second time this has happened, the last one I had specifically asked my mother before I left if all the lights worked. I don't ever want this to happen again, because I will most definetely get a ticket, of which I don't deserve. I hate feeling naughty and stressed.

Sneaky Foxes and Saugatuck

What broke my day: smart, fox-like kids. Okay, I actually admire any three year old who can outsmart me, but as the childcare provider it does frustrate me when a three-year old keeps trying to get out of nap time and not eat lunch, and not listen to me. It's frustrating when what you say goes in one ear and out the other. But in his cute way, Ayden definitely takes the cake for being a sly little fox. There were several times today when he was a sneaky little bugger. The first was his intense bargaining when eating lunch. First off, I have never met a slower eater in my entire life. He ate one bite of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, 5 strawberries, some carrots, and 1/3 of a pudding, and do you know how long it took him? An hour and half!!!! All the while I was stuck watching that ridiculous show Yo Gabba Gabba!  I couldn't get  him to eat any more than that, and we instead went outside to the playground. After telling him we could only play for an hour and then we had to take a nap, 10 minutes before we were going to go inside he decided he really wanted to take a walk. I said yes, because I wanted to get some exercise anyway, and soon after we begun our trek he told me he wanted to go to town, which means downtown. So we walked that way and do you know where that sneaky child led me? Right to the ice cream parlor. Yeah, he knew the entire time where we were going, but I stood by my decision and I didn't let him get ice cream, and we headed back. He soon looked me straight in the eye with those big, adorable brown eyes and said, "my legs hurt, will you carry me?" So, I had to carry him for 20 minutes all the way home. On top of that he neglected to tell me that he had an accident so my entire side was wet by the time we got back. Begin nap time: he always tries to get out of nap time.I always tell him I will lay with him, and then I sneak out after 15 minutes because he's asleep. But, for the first 15 minutes he kicked the bed, played with the cats and did other things. I love this kid because he is so freaking smart, he knows how to get away with anything when I'm watching him. Other kids, I wouldn't let get away with not eating, or sleeping, or tricking me. But him, he has outsmarted me, and that simultaneously makes and breaks my day.
What made my day: going out for coffee with a good friend. Today, after work my friend Kyrie ( who is older, but not much wiser) made plans to go to Saugatuck for coffee. Well, Saugatuck is quaint, gourmet, and where "all the gays go to get their coffee." I like it a lot, it's on the beach,  stocked with cute coffee shops and art galleries, and extremely good looking men who are ALL off the market due to sexual orientation. Everyone there is friendly and creative and all around awesome. So we headed downtown, and who do we see? Kyrie's gay, autistic, brother, his boyfriend, and her mother. Have I mentioned that West Michigan is a small world full of Dutch Bingo (which is like 7 degrees of separation in the Dutch community). Of course they were also going to the coffee shop, Uncommon Grounds (see what they did there?) to have AHMAZING coffee. I got my French Guiana coffee, and we sat down to have ridiculous conversations about old people going crazy, George Takei (who Kyrie had met, and every time anything Star Trek related comes up makes sure to tell me that she has indeed met), and European boys. While I didn't get to dish on the man in my life to Kyrie (because it would have gotten back to my mom through Kyrie's mom, just another example of small town living), it was a wonderful experience. The artsy stores we could walk into, the fact that we ran into more of my mother's friends (once again...you don't understand how small the dutch community is), and that it was the ideal temperature made it all perfect. We got into town about 7, and I expected to leave around 8, but the next thing I knew it was 9:30, and I had no idea that we had been gone that long. Saugatuck is that kind of place, where you lose track of time because you are enthralled by the boutiques, the art, the culture, and the setting.  Sitting on the veranda of the coffee shop made me feel so chic, so hipster, so cool. I love pretending that I am the epitome of some french magazine for hipsters, and sitting there listening to the birds chirping and the quite streets made me feel exactly like that.  I think I will go to Saugatuck more often, because it no doubt makes me feel cool and classy, which will always make my day.

Nap time and Class time

What broke my day: Naps that turn into sleeping. I love naps, don't get me wrong, but yesterday I was feeling the intense need for a nap at around 6, so I went to bed intending to wake up in an hour or two, stay up until 11 or 12, and then go to bed. Well, fast forward four hours and I woke up. Yeah....it was really confusing to go to sleep with it being light, and then waking up and it being dark. I knew I couldn't fall asleep again (probably) and that led to me stressing out about going to bed, not sleeping, and then being extremely tired and cranky for my 6 and a half hour work the next day, which afterwards I was planning on going out for some fun with friends. I think what made me not like my extended nap was that I woke up more tired, cranky and hungry. I didn't like the confusion. I didn't like feeling lazy. And I most definitely didn't like the fact that I had to go to bed again in an hour. I think part of my problem was that I woke up dehydrated and hungry because I had slept right through dinner. Anyways, eating dinner and chugging water at 10 o'clock at night wasn't the best part of my day to stay the least. I feel like everyone has those rare occasions where they meant to take a nap, and then they woke up the next morning instead. So I know I'm not alone, it happens. But it was obviously my body that told me to sleep, and I mean I could have probably not woken up and just slept through the night which would have made me 10 times more confused, kind of like an amnesia patient. Alas, Because of the nap, and the fact that I really needed to try and go to bed, I didn't write last night. This means that I am officially a failure in the blogosphere for not writing, but oh well, you win some you lose some.
What made my day: Well, yesterday was crazy. I teach Sunday school during the summer at my church, and you can sign up in three week blocks of time. I signed up for two, three-week blocks for the same class, and I love them (the kids I mean). But it was my last Sunday teaching, and the kids were not so cooperative in their lesson. First of all they liked my helper, a ninth grade boy, better than me. We had two criers, one of which ended up having to go back to mommy and daddy to avoid screamfest 2010: part 2. On top of that, during lesson time we were learning that God can do anything, and I asked one boy, Issac, whether he had ever fallen of his bike, or fallen while running and scraped his knee. The answer: never. Okay, great.  Well moving on, I asked a little girl, Kylie whether she had ever gotten sick. Nope. No one in the class would admit that they had ever been sick. This made it very difficult, because now I had to decide whether or not to broach the subject of lying. But something during this period made all the difficultness worth it. One of my regular kids, Zander, wasn't coming to class because he was getting baptized. As I was running around, getting all the supplies ready before class, I passed him and his mom by the college student board(featuring moi). As I walked past he pointed to a picture and told his mommy, "That's my teacher." It was me. The fact that he recognized me as his teacher, even though he has had two other teachers other than me over the course of the summer, the fact that he thought of me as a teacher, and just not a body, made me smile. It was good knowing that he viewed me as someone to respect and recognize, it gave me a title. A title, of someone that is important in ones life, and instrumental to their learning. Being a teacher definitely made my day.

Sweatin' WITH the Oldies

What Broke My day: Parents. I love my parents, I really do, but sometimes my parents get on my nerves, which is why living with them is not a good idea on my part. I know it’s all that teenage angsty goodness, and the relationship will get better eventually, but right now, there are only 28 days left until I leave for college, and my parents and I are butting heads more than ever. I feel like my parents have been in a perpetually bad mood for the past two weeks. It’s quite distressing. My mother and I disagree on a lot of things but the biggest one right now is the fact that she doesn’t want to take out a Federal Parent PLUS loan for my school, because she thinks that I can live without it. Why?: because last year I didn’t really need it and now I have a job at school. What she doesn’t realize is that I still need that money, because I can’t pay for books, clothes, and supplies without it, and even though I have a job I need the supplemental government stuff.  Part of it is I have been saving really hard for my trip to Italy, and deep in my mother’s mind, that is unimportant:  I don’t deserve to have a trip. I never get to go on vacations, and I don’t go on spring breaks or anything like that, but of course, she wouldn’t dare spend money on me, so that I can use my hard earned money on something special.  We haven’t agreed on anything in days, and she has been constantly nagging me, not asking me in a nice polite way, to clean up, and do this, and do that and whatnot. When she attacks me like that, I’m not going to do it to pleasure her bad mood, and I will take my sweet time, until she nearly forgets about it, and then I’ll do it. Why?: because I’m stubborn. I just want her to stop breathing down my neck with everything I do. I don’t think I’m asking too much. But, I do admit I am a little at fault, but still: parents annoy me right now.

What made my day: Working out. No, I’m not crazy, and I am not athletic, or very good at working out. But, I love that feeling you get when you have completed it without wimping out, or of course not giving it your all. That feeling that you have accomplished something and note done it half-assed. You are glistening with sweat, or in my case, drenched, and looking like you just stepped out of a thunderstorm. You are breathing heavy, your heart beating through your chest, you take a step and your legs feel like gelatin and your arms are sore. You know that you did something effective toward your goal of a leaner body and a sexier self.  But let’s get this straight. I don’t like starting to work out; getting the motivation absolutely sucks.  The thought of working out makes me want to puke a little, and to be honest I would rather eat a toenail than start working out….actually, I take that back, toenails are gross.  But for the sake of emphasis, that’s how much I hate starting working out.  The thought of getting out of my comfy sweats  and my nice bed to get all hot and gross and then have to shower later, and then after all that change and ect, ect. It’s not appealing at all. But I did it anyway. And after I did it, I realized that it was totally worth it, because I felt great.  I don’t feel like I could pose in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, or be a Victoria’s Secret model, but I do feel more toned and more beautiful. This leads me to feel more confident, and be in a better mood, and just be a happier person.  Yes, I do get tired and a little grumpy for a little bit after, but once I’ve showered I feel pretty. That song, “ I feel pretty, oh so pretty, oh so pretty and witty and gay..” comes to mind. I think that’s the perfect description of my mindset for the after workout feeling.  It’s true, and I do pity any girl who isn’t me today.